Sunday, June 08, 2008

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN

"It seems to me that the most important of all the rules is to please, and that if a play has achieved this goal, it has followed the right path." Molière

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN

Mexican stand-offs gone wrong, suitcases of abandoned drug money, a bad-ass killer on the trail of a likeable desperado, a smooth-talking bounty hunter on the trail of the bad-ass killer, and a policeman who talks a lot about a lot of stuff a lot of the time – for ages.

It fails to deliver on a set-up that is driven down our throats with each gruesome murder. An unstoppable killer closes in on his prey, an intuitive and very capable Vietnam veteran, whilst a wise old philosophizing policeman tracks both of them. That's the set-up, and we sit back in expectation as these three hurtle towards each other and… well… nothing really.

So we're left with a psychotic Spaniard sporting a Beatles haircut on a big face, lugging what looks like a scuba diving tank around a desert, laying waste to all and sundry in his pursuit of a Vietnam vet who doesn't quite understand the concept of running away (1974 anyone?), all whilst being investigated – and I use the word in its loosest sense - by a walking drawling scrotum in a sheriff's uniform prone to a soliloquy or ten.

There were some scenes that were just, well, I don't know what they were or where they were going or why they even existed, I suspect simply to give McCarthy's prose a voice, and Woody Harrelson's character didn't really bring anything to the equation other than another corpse for el big face to scuba to death. As I sat there watching this film whimper to its conclusion, the bone marrow in my legs started itching, and when Tommy Lee Jones started getting all Hamlet on the motherfucker, I could actually feel my teeth growing. Jesus. I couldn't get to the pub fast enough.

I understand why they did it. I think. McCarthy’s book is all about how things aren’t what they used to be and how things don’t always turn out how they are supposed to and the unpredictability of life (a bit like football, really) and so we are accordingly gifted a lesson in keeping with that theme: a chase thriller that ends, wait for it.... not.... how.... it's.... supposed to. Brilliant. They subverted the genre to establish the narrative theme of a piece of literature and shock us all with the revelation… BIG FUCKING DRUM ROLL… that real life doesn’t always turn out the way you want or expect it to. Gee, thanks dad, but can you lay off with the life lessons I’m trying to watch an imitation of real life through the medium of drama. What? This is the film? Oh. How silly of me.

Drama isn’t just something that exists in this world because people write it, it’s pretty much the reverse that’s true, and dramatists exist in this world because human beings have an inherent need for drama. Writers exist to feed that need, and their role is, or should be, defined by those needs. Writers who fail to take an interest in the public perception of drama (what the audience wants/expects) can end up all too easily misunderstood or inaccessible. A writer who finds, to his surprise and frustration, that his audience fails to connect with him is a world apart from a writer who is inaccessible by design. The former is a learning curve, the latter is unforgivable.

Which raises the question: does a work of art exist if it has been created without regard for the spectator? I accept that's debatable with regards to many forms of art, but I feel it's wholly indefensible with regards to drama. A work of drama exists for an audience.

My problem with No Country For Old Men is that they ignored a fundamental principle of drama to preach reality to thousands of people who paid hard-earned money to leave the real world behind for a few hours.

The Language of Coffee

Here’s how it works at the little café round the corner. I pop in and say, "Hi. Can I have a very strong cappuccino with not a lot of milk, please?" And that's exactly what I get. Not bad, eh? We have an understanding, the Ecuadorian and I. We connect. So what was so different about my sojourn to Starbucks?

ORWELL IN STARBUCKS (A Tragedy in one act)

FADE IN:

INT. STARBUCKS - DAY
A rather DASHING YOUNG MAN enters and joins the fast-moving queue. He doesn't have long to wait.

SPOTTY ROBOT
Can I help you, sir?

JARED
Hi. Can I have a very strong cappuccino with not a lot of milk, please?

The SPOTTY ROBOT gives off the impression of having just been whacked over the head with a very heavy object.

SPOTTY ROBOT
I'm sorry?

JARED
Can I have a very strong cappuccino with not a lot of milk, please?

SPOTTY ROBOT
You mean you want a double shot?

JARED
Sorry?

SPOTTY ROBOT
A double shot. We put a double shot in for customers who want it strong.

JARED
OK. I'll have one of those then.

SPOTTY ROBOT
And you want that dry, right?

JARED
Sorry?

SPOTTY ROBOT
You want a dry cappuccino?

JARED
I have no idea what you’re asking me.

SPOTTY ROBOT
Dry means not a lot of milk. Froth.

JARED
Oh right. Froth. Yes. In that case I want it dry. Thank you.

SPOTTY ROBOT
So that's one dry cappuccino double shot. What size do you want?

JARED
Just a small one, thanks.

SPOTTY ROBOT
A tall one.

JARED
No. Just a small one, thanks.

SPOTTY ROBOT
Yes. A tall one.

JARED
No. I don't want a tall one.

SPOTTY ROBOT
Well what size do you want?

Grumbled mutterings emit from the growing queue behind.

JARED
I just want a small coffee. A little one. Your smallest coffee. That's all.

SPOTTY ROBOT
(gesturing to the board behind him)
The sizes are up there for you to choose from.

Up on the board, three sizes are offered. They start with the smallest and cheapest. This is called a Tall.

JARED
I'll have a tall one.

SPOTTY ROBOT
Thank you.

Sigh of relief from the masses behind.

SPOTTY ROBOT
One tall dry cappuccino with a double shot. That's two pounds ninety-eight, please.

Jared gives off the impression of having just been whacked over the head with a very heavy object.

Jared hands the money over the counter.

The spotty robot hands Jared his TWO FUCKING PENCE! change along with a little booklet.

SPOTTY ROBOT
And here's a little instruction manual to help you next time you order from Starbucks.

JARED
Thank you.

EXT. STARBUCKS - DAY
Jared steps off the pavement and throws himself in front of a bus.

FADE OUT:

THE END